My Apologies to the Economy

After all the recent talk about debt and deficits with the threat of cuts in Social Security and Medicare plus the possibility of increased taxes, I think I will be trying to save as much money as I can.  I don’t know what the future will hold but it certainly is difficult to be optimistic during these times.  It seems to me like the best thing to do is to hunker down and start hoarding cash.

Sorry economy!

I think I will be trying to get as many miles as I can on my current vehicles.  I will try to maintain them well and repair as much as I can.  When they die, I will even be considering purchasing a used vehicle rather than new since my money could be better spent on food rather than depreciation.

Sorry General Motors!  I hope you don’t need another bail-out because of me.

I am going to analyze my driving habits and not take off too quickly from stop lights.  I will be consolidating my trips as much as possible and stop at the grocery on the way home from work.

Sorry Exxon!  I hope your record profits don’t suffer too much.

Speaking of the grocery, I am going to prepare more meals at home so I don’t have to pay outrageous prices for a soda or tip the waitress or pay extra sales tax for Lucas Oil Stadium.  Paying sales taxes plus tips adds 25% to the cost of everything that I eat out.

Sorry waiters and waitresses!  I know you work a lousy job and are on your feet all day but I really have a hard time paying $2.25 for a Coke.  By the way, sorry Atlanta!  I will be drinking more water.  But I am not all that sorry about not having to pay sales taxes.  I enjoy the Colts, but why should I help support Jim Irsay?  What did he ever do for me?  If he can pay $15 million a year for a quarterback, he can live without my 1% tax on my buffalo wings.

I am going on a stay-cation next week making a day trip, plus hanging out around the house to clean the garage.

Sorry Southwest Airlines and the hospitality industry!  If the darn dollar weren’t so weak maybe your jet fuel costs wouldn’t be so high, and you could offer $29 fares inducing me to be separated from my money.  Alas, it isn’t meant to be.

I will be paying back some of my debt so I can decrease my interest expenses and improve my monthly cash flow.  Once I get one debt paid off, I will pay off another with that money too.

Sorry United States Treasury!  You can’t tax me on the money I will be saving on interest costs.  No capital gains taxes on debt repayment!  HA!

As for the banks?  Your profits are going down.  I am sick of paying you interest each month so you can screw me on fees whenever you please.  I might even check out peer-to-peer lending and pay an individual some decent interest since you screw savers, too.  I am not apologizing to you!  Bank of America, you can kiss my………credit card good-bye.

Yep!  Over the next year my personal contribution to GDP will be going down by 12%.  I am going to devise a plan and stick to it such that I can decrease my expenses by 1% each month on average.  I will build an emergency fund so that I can pay cash those major repairs that occur at the worst possible time.

Sorry Dave Ramsey!  I can get my info free off the internet.

Finally, I would like to apologize the US Congress and the President of the United States.  I won’t be creating any jobs over the next year, so you might have to do it for me.  Good luck!

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